Matt and I have had several conversations about church. Shocking I know, where would such a subject matter come up? After being on this side of the coin for quite a few years, I was just thinking about all of it. How each person's perspective is different, depending on what you bring to the table. Only a doctor's wife knows first had what its like to have your husband pay malpractice bills because of something he did. Only a CEO's wife knows what its like to have a business fail before your husband's eyes. Only a teacher's wife knows the details of each little cherub in the room. And don't get me wrong, you can interchange husband and wife here, but this was just how I was looking at it. And let's face it, women take relationships much more to heart. Men tend to fix, women worry about all the extras.
Also, don't get any ideas. I have read books by pastor's wives, devotionals by pastor's wives and blogs by pastor's wives. Fairly certain I will never be leading a Bible study, or weekend retreat, or publishing any of my work. I guess I shouldn't say never, but seriously, not my line of work.
When Matt was in Ontario for several months, the kids and I attended many different churches. I needed a break from what was and so we went out exploring. Probably the only church shopping I will ever do in my life. There were mega churches, small churches, traditional services, contemporary services..... you name it we saw it.
There are three main character traits in a pastor: preaching, pastoring, and administration. Its unusual to find someone gifted in two of the traits and rare to find someone gifted in all three. Sort of how business have 12 chiefs - one for administration, one for finances, one for technology, etc. Everyone has their gift. This is why people love the preachers at mega churches. They are incredible orators. But I bet if you plucked them up and put them in a small country church, it wouldn't be pretty. I can just picture this guy standing next to a farmer on his death bed and he hauls out a 10 page sermon with animation and illustration. He'd be great at it, but its not what is needed at the time.
Some people like the mega churches: great preaching, glitz and glam in the youth programs, intense musical worship. Other people look for churches that focus on taking care of the community in which they are placed. Some churches are big on international service projects. Some churches stick to tradition. Some churches like liturgy.
Personally, I'm not a mega church chick. I haven't found one that I like the music or the youth programs. I went to one, and because my kids were afraid of the youth program, they came to church with me, and I swear they were the only people under the age of 21 in the service. The music and the youth programs are more important to me at this stage of my life.
Church takes on a whole new perspective when you are standing on this side. I always say I would be a better teacher now that I am a mom, but, I don't ever want to be a teacher again. Matt took a class that described Sunday morning as the most selfish hour of our lives. We want the music to be powerful and uplifting, some of us want our kids in the worship service, some of us don't, some of us want good biblical Sunday School, some of us want hell - fire- and brimstone from the pulpit. We all want different things.
It's impossible for a church to make every person sitting there to be happy, to connect, to be fed. Honestly, there are some things that the church has never provided for me and it never will. Does that make it a bad church? Should I change churches in hopes of finding that thing I'm missing, only to realize that this new church lacks ..... fill in the blank. As a teacher and a youth leader I never connected with every student. Was I a bad leader? (and yes that is arguable) I don't know, but I do know that there was something I was never going to be able to give that child because we just didn't click. That's part of life. That's what makes the world go round.
I don't know what the answer is. Maybe we should look around and see what we can give instead of what we can get. Maybe if you hate the music but love the preaching, you just download the sermon from the website and listen to it while you are walking. (yep - that's me) Maybe you take your devotional time to connect with God and your church time to connect with others, then you won't be disappointed in the sermon or the music or the sunday school.
Some of these things I struggle with, particularly for my kids. We currently don't have Sunday School, although Jessica and Maria have a teaching time. They won't ever be in a Christmas program. We don't have a children and worship program. They won't have those memories. But a teacher I respect once asked me, 'just because you did it that way, does it make it better'? And, I don't have to be at church until 10:30, definite perk.
Matt played a video on Sunday that I really enjoyed. Again, my guess is some of you won't like it because its not your thing.
YouTube - Videos from this emailI really like going for a run.
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